I miss you so much mum, my heart is so broken without you. I still can't bare to believe you've left. You would be so proud of Zara. I hope I make you proud too. It makes me sad you will never be a Granma and hold my babies. I just want you to come back I would do anything and give anything just to see you one last time. Everything is different now and it is so scary without you here. I will do everything I can to keep this family together and I promise I will always look after Zara. I am trying to help Luke. Roger is doing so well I am so so happy he is okay. I will never ever ever forget you or your smell or the feel of your soft skin. I love you with all my heart, so much it hurts. I'm 20 next week I don't want another birthday without you. God I hope you are okay wherever you are. I miss you so much